19th Chapter
It feels almost, of course, beside Clemens herzugehen. You do not know whether you care Steps have adapted, or vice versa. But in any case it works.
And for the first time in a long time have you once again feel that works between you something right away and very smoothly.
no misunderstandings, no detours, no discussion or hurt feelings. It just works.
And reminds you yet again for a moment about why you give up Clemens not want, no matter what you have just told Mesut.
You know why you want to Clemens. Because you damn it'd be really spectacular together. A fucking dream pair.
For now, though you're just not so sure that this knowledge alone is sufficient. Clemens and whether it even looks the same.
Without speaking just walk side by side. There is a strange weather out here. It is hot, really humid and the humidity is so high that even the breathing is exhausting.
A storm is about much in the air. What would the reason for this is that you barely met anyone here in the street.
you feel that you start to sweat. And for a moment you regret it now but to have left Mesut fully air-conditioned apartment.
Even if you know that it was the only right decision. The fact that you absolutely must test out - because here, in public, there is simply no risk that Clemens wound up with a simple smile on his finger.
you just like to bring him to . Forgive You can with a single, brief contact any reason for your disappointment compared to forget him.
That will not happen here. Simple as that
is Because you can not simply touch Sun Even if not necessarily many people are traveling, you remain completely undetected both - especially Clemens - but not then.
you direct your steps now towards the small park, not far from the apartment Mesut content. Where their presence has often jog and the you fell in love right the first time anyway.
The branch is pretty and there are so many corners into which one can retreat quite well, even at times to discuss more private issues.
you feel Clemens' eyes always on you feel, that Clemens is short again and again about to say something. And then finally it can be. You are grateful.
finally breathe easier on than you in Shade trees, the park counts. You notice that here are no longer many people. The pack just past their picnic baskets and mats together, and then hurry to leave the park.
only now you hear the still quite distant but clearly perceptible roll of thunder.
If you currently do not care. So what of shit.
can from you from it right here like to give the storm of the year. Does not bother you. You need to talk with Clemens. Now. And since Peter will not change it. Not this time
You lead Clemens finally in one of the remote corner of the park, to a rather hidden bench that looks a bit weathered. Almost as if it had been forgotten in the last general painting.
you sit down. Look silence the last people who rush in front of you. The mothers with their children, can be reluctant to follow suit. A group of guys who have a football here - and they run mostly in Werder jerseys also gone.
you and Clemens, it simply waits.
Until you have the feeling, the last human beings to be here.
Nothing moves, nothing moves. The great calm before the storm.
The distant thunder is now no longer quite so far. But not so close that it would really upset you.
now did you turn to Clemens. Look at him.
He returns your gaze, has attracted a leg and an arm wrapped around drum. Some sweaty strands also depend on him in the forehead.
It's still incredibly hot. Clemens' face was slightly red. And yet, just incredibly beautiful in your eyes.
Clemens you see another moment simply dumb. So now it is finally time.
The time for talking has finally arrived.
you decide not to do first as if you had the conversation between Clemens and Mesut not overheard.
"You were really at Tim?" So you ask for it again.
just had to hear it again - directly from Clemens. Just need the confirmation again. The confirmation that it is indeed over. The Clemens and Boro.
Clemens nodded without hesitation.
"Yes, I was. You told me ... yes, you gave me somewhere open his eyes. That it could not continue. And Tim ... it took me off the track, that he suddenly showed up here is. You did indeed mitgekriegt ... But ... what I said yesterday to you, this I have really serious ... "Clemens finally broke off somehow helpless.
But you see it only on to questioning, and penetrating.
Clemens Will it this time not as easy. Want him, the uncomfortable truths for him finally fully pronounce.
"... The fact that Tim is no longer ... that it is not That is certainly what I want. And it is also not what I need. Maybe ... maybe I've just clung to me very much of a reminder, I have no idea yet. And with today ... this ... this stupid accusation ... that ... I know that this was just saudämlich from me, OK? It's just ... I've also Tim never thought he'd use only've believed that I know him better ... but ... this was just not as ... "Clemens said after all and looks up at it with his expressive eyes.
you see him, that he is serious. What he is saying to you. That it's also pretty hard to please him, so be honest with you, you will slowly clear.
He nervously rubs now a few strands from her face looks, you have always been, however.
You have the feeling that you can read in his eyes that he feels honestly sorry for what he has said in the cabin with you. You chew uneasily on your lower lip.
Can you still do not really bring themselves to say something. Because you still do not know so really, what exactly do you want to answer now, actually.
Even when the urge to pull up to Clemens, and he simply reassuring caress on the cheek, in you more and more increasing. You decide against it.
"You have pretty hurt Clemens, you know ... today is not only handling the case. But also ... yesterday. Only with your call and then your sudden appearance at my door ... " Finally, do you think - did you decide, just so honest with Clemens as he has only just been to you.
sigh you hear Clemens. You see, as he lowered his gaze.
"I know ... I ..." mutters Clemens finally, after a short pause, during which the thunder is suddenly penetrated much louder to your ears.
probably not be long before the storm breaks loose really. For you still no reason to look into the distance. Clemens steadfastly you see further that the restless with his foot now scrapes on the floor back and forth.
like a restless horse, which is slowly driven into a corner and could turn out that at any moment.
"Damn, I know, Basti. I ... what I've pulled off the last few days ... ... it was just impossible for me. And childish and I do not know everything ... "said Clemens then, as he raised his eyes again and look up again," But ... I ... I can not do more than simply to tell you how sorry I am. And now that I - even if it has taken a bloody long time - finally know what I want. And you are, Basti. I want to know you better, I will go out with you. I want ... I want to kiss you. Up. And no one else. "
you swallow. Clemens and easy to see now just wide-eyed.
Do not expect it. With such clear terms. Even if they ultimately are just that, what you hoped for you. Expect you have such a relentless message of Clemens but not then.
Nevertheless, you feel like your heart begins to beat now suddenly very much more violent.
in your ears even now really drowned near thunder.
you take not even notice the suddenly emerging, strong wind that sweeps through the park at once. The leaves can be loud.
Are absorbed in Clemens' eyes. You feel trapped by his insistent, pleading look. Still hear Clemens' words that are repeated in a loop in your head.
And you hear only one thing: Clemens wants you. He wants you, you, you, you ...
Clemens. Will. Up.
Finally. At last the time has come, to whom you have not even dared to hope. Clemens has decided. He laid his cards on the table. And now it's your turn.
Now you're on the train.
still keeps Clemens views to your set. Already almost hypnotic.
And without thinking, you lean close up to the front. Close your eyes.
is totally forgot your disappointment, your anger at Clemens. Just as the fact that you still find you here in public. And you damn here again are known footballer.
That put her career on here your game may. It does not matter a damn.
you want Clemens just kiss. Can one of your hands in Clemens' neck move. Feel sweaty and there stroking hair, careful about it.
And just at the moment when your lips touch, the storm breaks loose on you. A blinding flash moves across the sky, the thunder followed almost immediately.
And then comes the rain. Without warning, the sky suddenly opens its gates and the water pouring down in rough masses down on you.
Not even the tight leaves crown protects you against you. It is raining cats and dogs.
you tear your eyes again. Draw back from Clemens. Look in his eyes dilated. He sees you as shocked at how you're feeling at that moment.
you let go of Clemens.
feel that you are already soaking wet. Draw up further by Clemens back. Shake your head.
"I'm ... I'm sorry, Clemens. But I ... I just can not. I ... This is everything to me somehow too fast ... "you stutter, finally, see Clemens still ongoing.
see his half-uncomprehending, half-understand view. While around you to sink the world seems so very stormy and smelled it at this moment.
"I want ... I love you too, Clemens. Please, do not get me wrong now. And it means everything to me, what you just said to me. That was all I ever wanted to hear from you. But ... I just can not. Not now. Not immediately. Please ... give me a little time .... ", You ask Clemens.
You stand up. Clemens does not move. Looks at you next. His wet hair hanging him confused in the face. His clothes stuck to his body.
Finally, he nods. Smiles easily even. Even if you look at him, as it is difficult for him to let you go easy now.
But he remains seated. And after you see, wie du jetzt eilig aus dem Park verschwindest.
Währen der Regen noch immer unaufhörlich auf dich niederprasselt.
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