Black / White Paper III 10/11
part: 10
Warnings: sap, lemon
Content: Tijo has become aware that he is a very specific interest in Sasha and has pursued it as well. But he has not put all the cards on the table ...
Title:
Black / White Paper III
part: 10 / 11
Author: Nanuk Dain
e-mail: nanukdain@gmx.net
Rating: MA
Warnings: sap, lemon
Claimer: Mine. With skin and hair. And all their mistakes. My my my * Seagull plays
* Comment: And again I must apologize that it took so long ... I hope there are still people who read, despite the long waiting times ^ ^
Content: Tijo has become aware that he has a very specific interest in Sasha. But he has not put all the cards on the table ...
**********
I walked with slow steps along the dirt road and was with each meter, which I came closer to the clearing with the grill area, and more nervous. Marieh was right, I had to decide what I wanted to draw the consequences. But today I did not feel able to work together despite or perhaps because of the long conversation with Marieh. She had a tendency to bring a think, but today I wanted to just enjoy the evening with friends.
I sighed softly, moved the bag with the grilled meat and the potato salad from one hand to the other and continued on my way. After a few minutes I reached the clearing and could see without difficulty the boys. I was apparently the last, for distribution to the smoking grill stood around or sat all other already. Mario had taken over the sovereignty over the grill, and seemed to care about the meat, Alex and Michael seemed to discuss something very excited and Sascha and Jamilio sat beside it in the grass and talked. On something that Jamilio had said Sascha responded with a laugh and said something in turn.
I stopped for a moment, watching the scene. Sasha seemed to have fun, and I knew he was an independent member of our young group and was now on the other no longer seen as my appendages. I wondered how they would respond well, Sascha and I should really ever have as a couple. As a real couple, not like on the Sunday at the rink where we played in the eyes of others only slightly.
I took a deep breath and continued on my way. When I walked into the meadow, saw Mario lifted me and hand in greeting. "Are you coming too? The academic quarter but is actually more than you Sascha. "
I laughed and stood beside him on the grill. "Now, as founder of the potato salad I may just well be 'fashionably late'."
I put down my bag and brought a huge pot potato to light. Mario nodded approvingly. "In that case, I agree with you. Looks good. "
" I know. "I grinned at him and put the pot to the other food that was on a paper blanket and so protected from pollution should be. "Can I help you something?"
Mario shook his head. "Not really. The grill is too small as two people could work on it. "
I just wanted to say something, as Jamilio and Sasha joined us. I felt like my heart skipped a moment in the neck when I saw Sascha come to me, but he gave me only one glance and inexplicably welcomed me completely normal. I noticed that Jamilios glance flashed for a moment between us to and fro.
"Hey, are you there already." Jamilio remarked with a grin that showed me that he pulled me. "Is it on time."
"What did you just all at once with punctuality?" I looked at the clock. "As much too late I'm not at all. Just a half hour. "
" So much for the academic quarter. "Commented Mario beside me and turned around with an innocent look, the sausage.
"What you stayed so long?" Jamilio numbered the grilled meat with a hungry look.
"The potato salad. There was quite a bit of snake in the Emperor than I expected. "
" You brought potato salad? "Jamilios look much at the big pot on the ceiling. "Super. Looks good. This was your excuse delay. "
I had to laugh. "Thank you for your grace."
Sascha I threw a glance, but he seemed just silently observing but with an amused smile on his lips. He seemed totally normal, nothing was even remotely suggest that something had changed between him and me.
"How long do the sausages yet?" Alex appeared behind Mario, trying to catch a good view of the grill.
"Do not be impatient, little one, otherwise you get no sausage." Intentionally put Mario in Alex's vision and blocked his views on the grill.
"Do not be so mean to him, Mario." Sasha said with a half grin and his voice betrayed it clear that he bit back a laugh. It was the first time in diesm night that I heard Sasha say something and asked me if I was the reason that his previously good conversation had apparently found Jamilio an end.
"Thank you, Sasha." Alex grinned at him. "There's nothing like a defender who is bigger than the attacker."
Sascha Alex laughed and patted his shoulder sympathetically Mario. "I'm sorry for you, Mario, because you're Sascha inferior after all. You will grow probably not. "
" I have spiritual greatness. "answered Mario completely unmoved. "And the rule over the grill."
"That sounds suspiciously like a threat." Sascha is a mixed and built demonstratively next to Mario to his full greetings. I watched the squabbling and I noticed once again that Sascha looked really good with the open curls that looked almost white in the sun. I would like to bury my hand in it, but I would not budge from the spot. I was not sure that the contact was welcome. "Are you trying to impress me?"
Mario threw Sascha a skeptical glance. "So much larger and now you are again not."
"Except Tijo is ran but none of its size. Also, do not you, Mario. "Micha, a mixed. His voice had a triumphant tone, and he seemed pleased with his knowledge.
Mario laughed briefly. "I need not, because the grill is still me. And so I decide to go to the sausages and Jamilio Tijo who have been waiting so patiently fact. "
With these words he waved Jamilio and me at the grill on it and gave us one after a paper plate with two fried sausage. I grinned at him. "Thank Thanks, grill chef. "
Mario tapped patronizingly to the chef's hat that does not exist. "I appreciate very patient people."
Jamilio smiled slightly and went to the cooler in order to get a new beer. "You are one, too?"
"happy." I had never thought to take me a drink and enjoyed the first sip of cold beer. Then put Jamilio and I were in the vicinity of the ceiling with the other food stuff and served us potato salad, ketchup and mustard. Alex followed us with an envious eye.
"That's not fair." He murmured softly.
Mario laughed. "Yes, yes, would have you only sometimes not created with the Lord of the grill. "
But it was not long until we sat together in a round, and held each a paper plate with grilled meat or sausage in his hand. I enjoyed the relaxed conversation, the sun, which seemed to me on the back, and the good food and felt good, except for Sasha's incredibly neutral behavior. Besides me, no one seemed to notice a difference, which indicated very clearly that Sasha's mask excellent work. I was supposed to be reassured that the guys mitbekamen nothing of the change in our relationship, because I had the urge to discuss it with them. Still, I liked the distance, both physically and mentally, between Sasha and me.
It was getting dark, but the Meadow muttered Grill still alive. We had now cleared our grill and sat with our drinks in hand together in a circle. Sasha sat opposite me and talked to Alex and Michael. He really was an independent member of our small group and he seemed to become in the round to feel good. I found this development well, because I did not want to be the link between Sasha and the boys, especially not if I should Sascha and what was between us, drive a step further. Falls. At the moment, because I was not so sure, especially in view of Sasha's gleichgütliger Facade.
"You also have one?" The question was highly discourage me from my thoughts and I saw Mario, who was at the cooler, holding three beers in his hand. I needed a moment to answer him and Jamilio gave me a look that gave me to understand that he wanted to know what was wrong with me. He had noticed that something was wrong. explained, but before I could talk to him, I had once with Sascha and have to know where I was with him. I was not able to provide me Jamilios questions before I even did not know the answers.
I shook my head and saw Mario's direction. "I'm going yet."
then one of the beers disappeared into his pocket and a bottle of water appeared. "We have taken precautions."
Mario pointed to Alex, the human being would me with his water bottle. "Welcome to the club."
then turned to Sasha Alexander, who was sitting next to him. "Then you're there by car? Can you take me into town? "
" I am already with Jamilio, Mario, Michael and the grill. I do not think that I still had run out of pure get ... "Alex the set and it was to see him that he felt unwell. "Wished I had not thought that you go back with me."
"Not bad." Sasha shrugged his shoulders. "I had also forgotten to ask you. Was just so 'ne spontaneous idea. "
I threw a glance at Sasha. He behaved perfectly normal that even I doubted for a moment as to whether had happened between us anything. Whatever I wanted with him in the future, like now, it could not continue. Of course, I was in the beginning it relieved that he had not made immediately clear that we were landed together in bed. But that did not mean that I wanted him to be as neutral behaved that I had doubts about my memory. A quick glance here or there would have I already passed, to know that he is not the whole thing completely indifferent to stand.
I had a small, inaudible sigh escape. Hopefully, I somehow found the opportunity to speak with him alone. I had to assure that they agree with the way things was that he had any interest. Although I was always the safe when we were alone, but as soon as other people to come, Sascha moved to its impenetrable mask and seemed even more neutral than before the time of our shower. We had
even played a couple - both in Sasha's school and to the boys - and that was no problem. Only now, where there was a question that it was not a game, Sascha concerns seemed to get. Made me all this back and forth, and above all this uncertainty, insane. I wanted to know once and for all what I was with Sasha.
I decided to bring him home. That would give us the opportunity to talk alone. "Shall I take you? My machine is on the parking lot. "
Sasha nodded. "That would be really practical."
Alex looked pleased. "And you have to have a bad conscience." "Okay, that's clear."
commented Mario easy and Alex threw a look that made it clear that he raised him.
"Hmmpf." Alex snorted, threw his empty water bottle into the garbage bag next to him and then began the paper plates and plastic cutlery to collect it.
Sasha smiled but said nothing and then went to Alex to help him. The rest of us also started to clean up, reduce the grill and pack the remaining food. It was not long until we had cleaned our grill, we packed our things and went and set off together to the parking lot. It was already getting dark, the evenings were not very long.
Alex closed his Mazda on and waited until Mario had stowed the grill, then we said goodbye us. "The fact that you are not only positioning stage."
Sasch raised his eyebrows and cast a skeptical eye on Michael for the comment. "I'm still not at all."
"And as long as you have no motorcycle license, it will remain so." Mario said with a broad grin. "But I think it would be so even very funny to see Tijo behind you on the machine. A very unusual picture. "
" Not without a license on my machine. "I snorted. Although the idea certainly had something for themselves, I thought, suppressing an ambiguous smile.
"I feel cold." Complaining Micha next Sascha. "Well, It's all good. See you later this week yet. "
" Okay, see you. "I greeted them in the round and Sasha did it the same to me, then I turned and walked toward my machine.
"You do not have a helmet, right?" I asked as we arrived at my motorcycle.
Sasha shook her head. "I had thought to go with Alex."
"Hmm" I thought for a moment.
"Just do not come up with the idea of wanting to give me your helmet." Said Sasha, even before I say something. "You go because it is more important that you do not fly in the face as I get. "
I could not help but laugh. "All right. Let's hope that we are not controlled, otherwise it is bad - no matter who has the helmet to "
" It's eleven, Tijo as early control yet.. And it's a Monday. "Sascha watched as I put on the helmet and covered his gloves. I rose, started the engine and waited until Sascha had sat behind me. After a moment his arms closed around my middle, and somehow reassured me this intimate contact.
I hit the gas and drove from the parking lot, I embarked on the Frankfurt center. The ride was surprisingly short and as I drove onto the sidewalk in front of the building, I was secretly relieved that we no police patrol had encountered. I turned off the engine and took off his helmet. Sasha's hands had come loose from my sides and he was staying. I knew that now was the moment to talk to him, or he would disappear into the house and we were again clarified nothing. And so an evening full of uncertainty as now I would not necessarily do it again.
"Thank you for bringing." Sascha gave me this typically half a smile, but I could now easily recognize the Nervorsität it.
"You're welcome." For a moment was the thought, it just rest there and leave to go home, incredibly tempting. But then I gave me a jolt. "Can I briefly with pure?" Seemed
Sascha to be surprised for a moment, but he quickly caught himself and nodded. "Sure. The evening is still young. "
I got off the machine and followed by Sascha the hallway of the building in the courtyard. I could see the tension in his shoulders and knew that he knew why I had asked if I could come in with. He also had to be clear that it go on as now, could not - no matter what we decided.
For my taste too fast were we arrived at his door and he closed up and left a me. Reminded me of the whole of yesterday evening, with the difference that I was now tense and uncomfortable not erotically stimulated. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, I could appreciate at all, would be tantamount to which this interview. I watched as Sasha, the door lock and passed me in the kitchen.
"Sasha, what do you want?" Even before I had really thought about it, the words were already said. And I sounded more energetic than I wanted.
Sascha remained in the middle of the movement, the Back turned toward me and clearly strained. He seemed a bit like a cornered animal. "Why do you ask?"
A counter-question, no answer. He knew exactly what I alluded to, but I decided to follow his path only once, even when it evaded me. "Because I do not know why I'm with you."
That was very honest and clear, but I was too tense for that night to play any more games. "Because I feel that I walk on broken glass, and never knows when I will cut myself."
Sascha had me still facing the back, and that made me mad. I wanted to he can see his face, read in his eyes. However, this possibility he took me and made me so helpless in some way, because I could not see how he reacted. His words were my only clue, but I had learned long ago that words were the most reliable source of information not always, especially not in a conversation such as this.
"With the feeling you're not alone." Sascha sounded just as ready as I felt. It took a moment but then he turned slowly and leaned against the counter. He saw me open, though extremely tense on. He had taken off his mask. "I can appreciate you not Tijo."
had so much openness is not expected and I did not know what to answer him. At least we seemed to have the same problem with each other. Marieh had been right again - we would still talk on Sunday, we would not have us so wrong track.
"You are for me a book with seven seals." Sascha seemed to realize that I did not know for the moment, what to say. "Once I got the impression that you want to do honest anything with me, another time I got the impression that you enjoy it just to try something new and then I seem to you again to be completely indifferent, and you act as if never done and especially so that it is clear that you do not wish that even one word of it ever comes out. "
Sascha paused and took a deep breath, but he held my gaze. "I do not know what I'm with you, Tijo."
I swallowed easily and eagerly wished more time to think before I answered. Then I saw slight irony in the situation and had to smile. "I could give it back exactly the same words to you. We have each other appear to give the same picture -. Including the uncertainty "
Sascha also seemed to see the humor in the situation and his typical wry Smile on his face, even if it was a little hesitant. "Then I give back your own question for you: What do you want Tijo?
I felt a cold shivers down my back. I did not answer this question first and make me so vulnerable. My gaze was fixed on Sascha and I tried to read from his face what he thought, at least to get a clue how much I could say to him. He held my gaze and I could see that he was aware of my situation and that the extent of his answer depended on the depth of my. The moment I realized that he was much more uncertain in this matter than me and that gave me say in a strange way, the force what I had already broken for so long the head.
I ran my tongue over the short dry lips. "I do not play and not simply try something new, Sascha. I must admit that I have no experience in this particular field, but that does not mean that I will only extend to you my perspective. I would not put up with the guys and then I would not be here. "
My throat felt dry and uncomfortable I had to stop briefly to clear my throat. "I do not know exactly how you stand it, but was by my side there serious. "
Sascha watched me a long look. I saw how it worked in his head and he covered my words before he said anything. I saw my impression confirmed that he was very cautious and wary in dealing with people when it came to things that were important to him. "I already have enough problems at the school, as you know, that I can not use more of it in my private life. If you think that this seriously, then you should understand that I will not be a dirty little Geheinmis. "
Sasha's whole posture expressed strain, although he still leaned on the bar. "I will not lightly to relationships one, Tijo, and I do not know how to behave when we are among humans. I like the feeling of not knowing how you react, I should get close to where we are in public. You know Max, and I'm not going to repeat it. "
He paused and ran his fingers through his hair, a gesture that betrayed his nervousness. "You tell me faszinierst, Tijo, otherwise it would never come this far. I would like to engage myself to you, but not if that means would have to lie to my whole environment. "He laughed shortly. "Not that that would be required at my school yet. For which we are already together. "
I also could not help but grin at the memory of our campaign at his school. It had been fun and it was totally indifferent to what was then thought of us. I was not so sure how that looked at people who were important to me, as the boys or my family. Marieh that had no problems with us, I knew already, and it was good to me to be sure IHER support. For Sascha made one thing clear: No more hiding, no lies about our relationship. If I wanted to be with him, it's all or not at all. That would not be easy, but I could live with.
I nodded slightly. "No lies. But you can Once we concede in some time together before we race in the world? "
Sascha looked at me long and intently and carefully, as he wanted to find out whether I was serious and the issue was only an excuse. I looked back and hoped that he could see that I honestly meant. I did not know where that firm conviction came, but what I'm sure Sasha was any inconvenience caused to our environment was ready for us, worth it.
"I think I can." He answered softly, and then put a slight smile on his lips. His view was warmer and his attitude relaxed visibly, as if for sich eine Entscheidung getroffen. Eine Welle von Erleichterung überkam mich bei seinen Worten.
Ich fühlte, wie ich sein Lächeln erwiderte.
***tbc
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